In Defense of the "No Tip" Button
A former barista takes a stand against this gratuity madness.
Last fall, I attended a Jerry Seinfeld & Jim Gaffigan stand-up show, and I decided to purchase a t-shirt before the performance. After standing in line for nearly 45 minutes, I prepared to pay for my grossly-overpriced $45 t-shirt ($50 after tax). The process went as follows:
Me (pointing): I would like that t-shirt, please.
Cashier (handing it to me): Here you go.
Tip screen: Select your tip amount. 20%. 25%. 30%. No tip.
I had to think. Should I tip 30% for my t-shirt? After all, the employee did do her job. She handed me the shirt without incident. No violence occurred. As Seinfeld himself would say, perhaps I should give her “a little something extra for not taking my head and smashing my face through the glass countertop.”
It may not shock you to learn that I did not choose to voluntarily increase my t-shirt price to $65. Nor $60, nor $55. Instead, I clicked that all-terrifying “No tip” button. People are scared of that button!
I was recently sitting at my local coffee shop, sipping my un-tipped coffee, and I overheard a young woman at the register apologizing profusely for hitting the “No tip” button.
“I am so, sooo sorry!” she emphasized. “It was an accident!”
It concerns me that we’ve reached a point in society where not tipping for a coffee is treated as a social faux pas on par with backing over your neighbor’s dog.
Everyone seems to assume that the servers hate you if you don’t tip. I’m sure that’s true sometimes, but I was a barista for two years, and I did not hate the non-tippers. In fact, one of my favorite customers came in every day for a drip coffee and sat down for several hours in the shop. He rarely tipped, but he was always polite. Honestly, I much preferred serving him over the tipping customers who ordered bullshit like this:
People will argue that food service workers don’t make enough money. That’s true, but is it the customer’s job to supplement their wages? If so, why don’t we just make it simpler? Maybe companies should start a monthly wage-improvement donation program where customers are kindly asked to contribute extra money directly to the company. The call-to-action in the email subject line could be something like this:
“Help us help our employees perform labor that benefits us. Do (y)our part.”
I should say that I always tip for table service. But let’s by clear: table service means that I sit down at a table and food is brought to me. It doesn’t mean that I have to seat myself, order at the counter, retrieve my food when it’s ready, and bus my own dishes. That happened at an Italian restaurant in Chicago. They had a host stand, so I assumed they would also have waiters. Wrong. I ended up having to do so many chores while I was there, I was surprised there wasn’t a customer dishwashing station. When I got the check (which I had to pay at the counter), there was the standard tip line. I left it blank and decided to keep the tip for myself since, after all, I had waited on myself. Although I didn’t care for my attitude, so I reduced my tip to 15%.
That reminds me…some places are now declaring the official meaning of various tip amounts. For example, on the tip screen next to the 20% option, it will say “Fine.” Who doesn’t love the guilt card? They think that you will tip more because how could you tip the “fine” amount? Are you an ungrateful selfish cheapskate? Wasn’t the service you received a little better than “fine?” No. Probably not. The truth is, most service is just fine, which is not a bad thing. We should all be grateful when things in our lives are fine. When my waiter is pleasant and my food arrives in a reasonable timeframe and it tastes close to what I expected, that is a fine experience. I will tip accordingly.
If my stance on any of these issues risks prematurely accelerating my transition into curmudgeonhood, then so be it. Who are we if we don’t stick to our principles! This is my position, damn it, and I will not waver! (Unless I’m with someone I want to impress. Then, I will eagerly tip $5 for a $4 coffee.)